✨ Preparing for Two ✨
Surrendering to the mess and the miracle of it all.
It’s hard to be pregnant while trying to fully care for and show up for my 2.5-year-old daughter. Don’t get me wrong, there’s so much gratitude and so much life to be lived. But I’ve come to realize it’s OK, and even necessary, to hold two opposing truths at once.
It’s physically hard. It’s emotionally hard. And yet... it’s my favorite thing.
I can feel my spirit expanding, preparing to hold space for the next little one to arrive earthside.
The constant getting up and down off the floor at 33 weeks pregnant is exhausting. The bending, the squatting, the split attention — it’s all a lot. And still, I love it. I love being home with Lily. I love the intimacy of our days together. I know this is what I want, what I’ve chosen, what I deeply desire and it’s all still so hard.
Some days feel especially tender. I can sense a growth spurt happening — not just in my belly, but in my whole being. An emotional and spiritual stretch, inviting me into a new version of myself.
And while I feel the urge to have everything perfect before baby #2 arrives — every drawer neatly organized, every tiny onesie folded, the house in order. I know now that perfection doesn’t exist. Motherhood has taught me that. It’s not about having everything in order so things feel perfect. It’s about learning to be okay with the mess, the noise, the moments that don’t go to plan.
This time around, I know what motherhood is. It’s a spectrum. It’s showing up when you don’t feel 100%. It’s holding space for your children and for yourself. It’s continuing on even when you’re exhausted — not because you’re chasing perfection, but because you’re rooted so deep in infinite love.
Right now, I want to slow down. I crave stillness. I want space to process, to anchor into this next chapter. But instead, I’m met with meltdowns, roughhousing, and endless rounds of play.
My heart is full — and still, I long to be alone with my thoughts.
I crave time to nest. To create beauty and order. But deep down, I know that doing isn’t what I need. It’s being. Being with myself. Being with all parts of me — the tired, the joyful, the anxious, the expansive.
This is my initiation.
To show up, present and grounded. To let go of perfectionism and control. To surrender to the mess and the miracle of it all.
My heart aches with how much I love my first. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, the depth of it all. And yet, I know I will continue to expand.
I will make room. I already am.
Motherhood is the most beautiful life experience I’ve ever known. I love every second of it — even when I don’t like it.
